Let’s get really honest. Family home evening can be really frustrating, stressful, and disconnecting. The exact opposite of what it’s meant to be! I find over and over again that families aren’t enjoying family home evening as much as they would like, and it can feel very discouraging. I also find that the issues that affect family home evening the most are:
- Time issues
- Mood issues
- Not knowing what to do
Because time is often so tight, I will do a separate post on each issue. Today, let’s talk about time.
TIME ISSUES
Would you say you live in a fairly relaxed society or a fast-paced, pretty stressful society? Is your calendar pretty open or overscheduled? If you have young kids, do you know how to schedule your activities and their activities so you and they feel good when FHE comes around? Do you schedule family home evening so there’s actually time to do it or does it get shoved in the cracks (or just fall through the cracks)?
If time is tight for you, here are a few simple suggestions:
- Always plan something quick and easy for dinner. Something in the crockpot, leftovers, a freezer meal, scrambled eggs and toast … whatever’s fast and easy for you. And then, always have a faster backup option for days that suddenly turn upside down. Canned soup and bread with whatever veggies are in the fridge is my preference. Mac ‘n Cheese with frozen mixed vegetables is the one I pull out if I really need the kids to like what we’re going to have. What are your quick and easy meals and what are your quicker and easier backups?
- If you have paper dinnerware, pull it out when it would be supportive for you to have less of a mess after dinner. This simple thing can relieve a little stress and open up some time.
- Think 15 minutes. Because of my resource book FHEasy we have had a lot of really good FHEs in the space of about fifteen minutes. Even if we are behind schedule getting kids to bed, I feel good about making sure FHE happens consistently at our house. The kids like it, too, and they never seem to mind a little later bedtime.
- Reconsider the day and time you expect to have family home evening. Is that time working for your family? I have a friend with a super energetic 3-year-old boy and a baby girl who is less than a year old. Her husband goes to work early in the morning and she stays home with the kids. By evening, she’s usually pretty fried and family home evening holds little appeal to her. In her case, I would suggest that she try to figure out when the whole family will be together for a half an hour when everyone’s feeling good. I’d guess Saturday morning would be a good time for her family to have family home “evening”. And for families with teenagers, I’ve noticed that often their schedules and energy levels work best together on Sunday mornings or afternoons depending on their Church meetings. For more on this topic, see my blog post “Is Monday Mandatory?”
- Finally, if the way you work with time produces chronic stress in your life, please consider actually praying about how to learn to use time well. Time is our vehicle for experiencing life and joy on this planet and if you don’t love time and love how you work with time, stress is pretty inevitable. You’ll feel like you never get anything done, you’ll feel overwhelmed and burdened, and you’ll feel frustrated because you aren’t doing things that feel meaningful to you. For years I used to feel this way about my life and it was miserable! Now, I love time and I love how I work with time. I do meaningful things, know exactly what I am getting done, and I feel a lot more joy and peace. It’s wonderful! So, if you don’t feel this way, pray about it. No one knows what will work best for you better than God. (If you’re interested in how I went from frustrated with time to loving time, email me here.)
Next post will focus on MOOD ISSUES. Until then …
Happy Home Evenings!
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